What a day this has been! I had to go to the dentist this morning to have my tooth prepared for a cap. This is the very same tooth that cost me something in the vicinity of $3000 last time I went to a dentist for the joyous experience of root canal surgery. What fun that was!!
I arrive on time for my appointment - never a minute sooner to something I dread so much - to be greeted by the very, very happy assistant dental nurse/receptionist.
"Good morning!" she beams, "Ready for today?"
She is clearly enthusiastic and I muster as much enthusiasm in return as I can manage to say; "Ready as I'll ever be..."
She brings me a tiny little pill (hooray!!) and hands it to me in a plastic gloved hand.
"Take the whole thing at once now!" she jokes, ever so jolly.
I remind myself that I'm sure her enthusiasm is meant to relax me and resolve to be nice.
After a half an hour it is time to get on with the business of torture. I am sat in the dreaded chair surrounded by all manner of terrifying objects – each more sharp and mysterious than the one next to it.
The dentist asks how I am feeling and, perhaps deciding that the medication had kicked in, asks her assistant to get me a drink of juice to boost my sugar levels. This further asserts the notion that I am in this one for the long hall! She asks if I am cold and when I reply in the affirmative I am gently covered with a lovely lamb’s wool blanket.
Perhaps this isn’t so bad after all?
“Ok gorgeous, open up now” the dentist encourages me.
Oh no! It begins!!!
The hydraulic chair is tilted back further and further until I am lying at the interesting angle of about 15 degrees – with my feet above my head.
‘This will be good for my thyroid’ I decide, finding a positive where I can.
In no time at all my mouth is filled with tubes that suck away my saliva before I’ve had a chance to make it and two faces are peering intently into my mouth. I concentrate on the orange light above me, then the white ceiling. I notice the dentist’s blonde hair in the foreground but do not dare to focus on anything close by that might mean I catch a glimpse of one of the horrifying tools.
Drill, drill, sharp, acrid smells, why am I putting myself through this? Drill, drill, She knows what she’s doing, just trust her, just relax…
About ten minutes in I start to relax and think about Leonard Cohen songs. And things around the room seem funny for no reason at all. I suddenly stop worrying that this procedure might hurt.
I don’t even mind the needle! Now I know for sure that the medication has finally worked!
There is a particular discomfort in having the corner of your mouth stretched and pinched by dentists’ tools. In any other situation you would say;
“Excuse me! That’s very uncomfortable, could you please stop doing that?” or something similar, or perhaps more colourful. Isn’t it amazing what we will put up with at the dentist!
As she concentrates on her art she sometimes forgets to ask politely and simply turns my head by force. At other times she leans over me to drill especially deeply into the tooth and I can’t help but think what a strangely physical process this is!
But an hour and a half passes much quicker than I could have imagined and I am free to go!
That is, after I have emptied my bank account of $1300.00. Certainly the most painful part of the whole ordeal!
How to avoid such expensive dentist treatments?
Floss EVERY DAY, brush AT LEAST twice a day.
Boring, but worth it!
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i totally understand. I have three wisdom teeth which need to be removed. yay! To make it more fun one of them is growing sideways into my other teeth. How on earth that is even possible is beyond me but, oh well. Money isn't that important right? ....Right...?
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